6.10.12

Same old same...

Sometimes i wish i had the ability to remain angry with the people that disapoint and hurt me. The pain i feel in the moment starts to fade away to quickly for my own sanity. Maybe then i would begin to put myself and my heart first, instead of loving others more than i really should especially when they haven't given me any reason whatsoever to deserve my love!
I just wish that some things would be a bit simpler, but i am starting to believe that i'm not really destined to be happy, no job, no love, no place of mine, no money, no traveling...no nothing and nothing is getting any better.
Sometimes giving it all up, the nothing that i have now seems so much more easy than the continued tries to get to somewhere...
I don't want everything easy but i do want something.
A job, be loved with no reservations by someone i love, my place...
Have at least one reason to be happy...
I'm tired of everything, including and most of all of myself...

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