2.10.12

Just some of those same old feelings coming up again

Complete and utterly lost...again. The need to disappear has come back to unsettle me once again. I'm unhappy. My favorite time is when i sleep and i really don't know where i'm going. I can't even get myself to do simple things...i wish i could just give up, just crawl to a big hole and stay there... I know i'm being overdramatic but sometimes i'm so tired of waiting for everything to happen, of waiting for a shot at being happy. I love but am not loved, i'm good at what i do, but now it's just not the time to be picked even when someone else is, i see everybody achieving something and i allways feel like i get left behind, and no matter how much optimism i show or try to feel... It's just a load of crap... Cause in the end, i'm the one who is left alone, i'm the one not being selected for anything, allways trying to prove myself, allways showing up stronger than i really feel or am. But the more stupid part is that i can't stop myself, i can't be any diferent...so in the end the fault for all this is simply me! I'm the screw up,...i'm just so tired...

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